5am: the baby wakes up and starts to poop, very loudly.
5:30am: he’s all done, ready to be cleaned up and looking to nurse
6am: well fed, clean, the baby drifts back to sleep just as the older 2 wake up and thunder down the hallway. They want to know if the iPad is still in timeout.
6:22am: the episode of whatever show they found on the iPad has ended, so the big boys are ravenous and start hitting/kicking each other. One of them has a pee accident on the floor. The other one poops and needs to be wiped.
7am: I’m standing in the kitchen nursing the baby with one hand and scrambling eggs to microwave with the other hand. The big boys are pulling on my pant legs telling me how badly they need the eggs, also cheese, also juice. By the time the eggs have finished cooking, they have realized eggs, cheese, and juice are repulsive foods.
8am: my husband and I have managed to get dressed and wash our faces. One of us holds/pats the gassy baby while the other coerces the bigger children to get dressed and brush their teeth. At some point, we remember we used to make monster sounds or sing songs to make this part more fun. We half-heartedly growl at the children.
8:44am: My husband has left for work only 20 minutes late, the biggest kid has gotten on the school bus, and suddenly everything seems 86 times easier. I have one kid per hand. The middle one is so happy to look at cars while we walk home from the bus stop. The baby has fallen asleep in the carrier. A friend pops out and invites us in for tea, which I’m able to drink warm while swaying the baby. Then, the baby and the toddler poop at the same time.
9:30am: I manage to get the baby fed, clean, and into his carseat. I toss the seat and the diaper bag into the van while the toddler refuses to put on his shoes for awhile. I add the shoes to the diaper bag and put the toddler into the minivan. We are out the door on time to meet friends at the Toy Library–I still don’t feel up to taking my kids to outdoor locations, despite the nice weather.
11am: the toddler shows me he is ready for his nap by hitting many other children in the head with many hard objects. A gracious woman helps me haul my stuff, the car seat, and the limp-noodle sobbing toddler into the minivan. He does not fall asleep in the car on the way home. He weeps for a long time, and I have to ignore him because the baby wakes up again and needs to nurse and get a fresh diaper.
12pm: I convince the weeping toddler to watch Daniel Tiger and eat some bread and grapes. I sway the baby back to sleep and am able to put him down in his crib. I back slowly out of the room and tiptoe downstairs. He remains asleep! I’m able to cuddle the toddler for a bit. When he asks to nurse, I let him and he falls asleep! I slowly put him in his bed. For 20 glorious minutes, both my young children are asleep. I choose to spend the time lying on the kitchen floor eating chocolate and drinking water.
For next time: I’ll tell the story of how I tried to take all 3 of them to the grocery store after school pickup.
Do your kids ever overwhelm you? Leave us a comment to share your experience.