First I want to say that I desperately wanted to nurse my daughter. I had nursed my son for about 7 months and he started to bite really bad and I had thrush twice and it was just so difficult. And I gave up! So, when I got pregnant with my daughter I knew that I wanted to nurse her for at least a year!
I remember waking up from my c section (which didn’t go as planned either, I had to be completely sedated and missed the whole birth). I remember waking up and my husband standing there with my beautiful baby girl and the first thing I did was try to nurse her. She refused to latch. I was still very groggy from the medication and really not fully awake. So, the nurses kept saying ‘Oh Give it time, its probably the medication let it wear off and I’m sure she will latch…’ Well after about 12 hours I started to get worried. I knew that If she didn’t nurse soon my milk might not come in… So, I tried for hours to get her to latch, she would try so hard to latch but it was like my nipple wasn’t long enough.. And then she would get really upset and cry and cry, then I would cry… I was so upset.
I kept trying – I didn’t want to give up. I was still on the pain medication pump, so I still wasn’t fully with it.. But I knew that I wanted this more than anything! Just the other night my hubby and I where talking about this. He said he remembers me being so upset because she wouldn’t latch. And all I was doing was crying. And he tried to help me.. He went and got the nurses and called the lactation consultant and told them that something was wrong.
Finally after about the first day I said, if she isn’t going to latch I want to pump, so I would know that she got the colostrum. The GOOD stuff!! The LIQUID gold! The nurses said we will bring you a pump, but you won’t be able to pump very much. The colostrum doesn’t come in in ounces it is just a few drops here and there… SO, I said well, lets pump a few drops here and there then….. Well, to everyone’s surprise I got almost 5 ounces of liquid gold. The nurses could not believe it!! I then insisted that they bring me a bottle for my daughter to eat since it had been just about a day since she had eaten. She had trouble sucking on the bottle even.
She would gag. And then cry. And then suck, then cry…
It was so frustrating! You would think at this point the nurses and the lactation consultant would have figured it out… No one ever said anything about her having a problem with her tongue.. So, I kept pumping. And I kept trying to get her to latch. I pumped every other hour. Every day … Day and night… Because I knew if I didn’t my milk would dry up and I did not want that! So, we go home.
After about 2 weeks of pumping I make an appointment with the lactation consultant. The baby was gaining weight, I was pumping about 4 ounces every other hour and had a bunch of milk stored up. So, I was pretty happy with my supply at this point, but I wasn’t happy that I wasn’t nursing.. I wanted to have that bond. I wanted to feel her tummy on my tummy. I wanted to fall asleep with her nursing. I knew I was doing the best thing possible for her….. But, It wasn’t emotionally what I thought it was going to be…. So, I make the appointment and go in and see her. She sits me up in a chair with a boppy and tells me to try to get her to latch. SO, I did. She wanted to see my position and the way she tried to latch. According to the LC everything was great. I had good positioning, and we just couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t latch for more than a couple of seconds.. And then when she did latch it hurt sooooo bad! So she gave me a finger feeder.. Which I have to admit now that I look back that must have been one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done. But I was going to do whatever it took!! I tried the finger feeder.. And all it did was frustrate her. I was getting so upset at this point. I was so tired from having to wake up every other hour and pump and then feed her.. It was getting very hard.
So, at the babies 6 week check up I asked the pediatrician if there could be something wrong with her mouth? And she said well has anyone ever looked at her tongue? And I said. No, not that I know of , why? She said well some babies are tongue tied. Their frenulum is to short and they cant extend their tongue out the full way therefore they cant latch.. And it was like a light went off! I said that has to be it! So, she looked at her tongue and said… well that’s the problem. She is tongue tied. She said it isn’t very bad, but I had a few choices. I could try to train her to eat with her tongue that way, which I think I had tried to do for 6 weeks, or I could have her tongue clipped.
The thought of having her tongue clipped really scared me.. I said “Is that surgery?” She said no. Its very simple. Done in the office and it takes 5 seconds. So, I went home and talked with my hubby… We both knew that was what we wanted to do. The next thing was to find a doc to do it! After about a week of trying to find an ENT that would do it I found one. But had to wait two weeks for an opening… I still remember walking in to the building. I was so scared for my baby.. I was so afraid he was going to cut her tongue… So scared that I was going to freak out!! But, I knew in my heart that this was the right thing to do.. She could have speech problems in her future.. She may not be able to kiss right.. There were so many things that I thought would be positive from this that I knew I wanted it done!!
When he came in he looked and he said “this will take a total of 5 seconds. Swaddle the baby and hold her close..” At this point I tried to hand the baby to my hubby as I was so scared and I was almost in tears. The doctor told me to hold her. She knows you. She knows your smell.. SO, I did. In tears. He explained that she may bleed a little bit, and she may cry, but it is such a small cut that I just need to put her to my breast as soon as he cuts it, he explained that breast milk is the best thing for the bleeding… So, I prepared myself. He took his fingers and put them under her tongue and took tiny scissors and cut it really quick…
My baby didn’t cry. She didn’t bleed. I put her to my breast… I am telling you. It was INSTANT. There was no pain, she latched like a pro.. I couldn’t believe it. I cried. And cried.
And said that if I would have known this whole time that this was the problem I would have done this along time ago. I could not believe that it fixed it that fast… It just all seemed so simple. I was so happy, I hugged the doctor about 100 times…
So, from that moment on. I got rid of the bottles. I got to nurse my baby all day all night. I got to feel her skin on my skin. I got to sleep with my nursing baby!! What an AMAZING feeling.. Just typing this brings tears to my eyes, I remember feeling so hopeless. Thinking I would never be a regular nursing mom…
But, I’m here to tell you that if its something that you really want to do, stick to it! Don’t give up! Be persistent!
So here I am. My daughter turned 2 September 20th. And we are still nursing.. A LOT! At least 10 times a day. And I see no end in sight.. And I am going to let her self wean. We fought so hard to get here.. Why stop now!!!!
Dusk is a proud momma to Jabe 3.5 years & Gracelyn 1.8 years and still nursing….
Did your baby have tongue tie? How did you find out about it? Please leave a comment and share your store with our readers!