Inner Wisdom

By Tracy Liebmann

Connecting with our inner wisdom and giving our children a chance to never lose theirs can be a challenge in our modern world. Our culture actually encourages us to dissociate from our body, our instincts, and our senses. Children are taught to narrow their attention, to cling to the past, and focus on the future, losing their ability to fully function in the present. They become dependent on authority figures who themselves only excel in highly specialized environments and situations.

We might ask, how did this happen, why did this happen? I believe that it lies in generation after generation of conditioning us to fit in; to fit into our family, school, work…society. I really don’t want to go off on some kind of rant about the “machine” yet it’s hard to discuss this subject without pointing out the fact that over the last couple 100’s of years we have really lost our autonomy, while having to fit into the already mentioned system. What I do want to talk about is how we, right here, right now, can help make a difference for ourselves and our children.

If you’re here today, reading this, you have refused to submit completely to the soul demoralizing repression that most of us have experienced growing up in modern society.

Looking In The MirrorYet still we have behavioral quirks and self destructive outbursts that challenge us in our relationships with others. It has been said that true spiritual growth always comes from being in relations with others. Parents are all too aware of this fact, our children our wonderful mirrors for our spiritual and mental health. Looking deeply into our children’s eyes we can see a dark reflective pond of knowledge, the difficulty comes from not being able to see, or even more challenging not even being able to LOOK. Some people look but can only see a little through the haze of conditioning, that told us children were emotionally and intellectual lower life forms in comparison to us, the taller, older and wiser adults.

So, what should we do? I suggest opening up to the possibilities of real change, envision what you want from this change and dive into the pond behind your child’s eye, it can transform you!

I always like to give concrete examples of what I am trying to convey, because often this type of parenting discussion can be perceived as pie in the sky, not realistic thinking. My experience has shown that living with and looking at your children as partners in this life’s journey can be very real, very connecting and very life changing! So let’s dive in, let’s look at some common behavioral quirks and self destructive outburst that challenge parents. Common challenges that come from our conditioning include; What kids should wear, what they should eat, who their friends should be, what sports they should play, college or no college…it’s all conditioning. In our society how you look is who you are, so when your child comes down the stairs in the same ripped jeans or dirty t-shirt that you hate, you have a destructive outburst…why? When you stop yourself and look into the pond you will see the reflection of you, you might think the way your child is perceived in the world is a direct reflection of what kind of mother you are…it’s all conditioning. My mom used to say “you’re going to wear that?”, all it did was make me feel bad about myself and disconnect me from her. I challenge you next time you want to say something about a wardrobe, food or friend choice your child has made, bite your tongue and reflect on where this is coming from. Take a minute to think about all the second guessing and judgment you do in regards to your children’s choices. If we are always questioning their choices, they are going to always question their choices, they will not trust themselves. This is the insidious destructive pattern of conditioning, the conditioning so that we will all fit neatly into society. The cost is a disconnect from ourselves, our children and the collective whole.

Looking into the pond will simply reflect what is, providing you with an oasis of clarity and peace in which to expand your awareness. With no attachment to the outcome, you will open to the possibilities that will transform you and your family.

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at or you can get parenting advice with heart at Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her!

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