Homebirth – One Mom’s Magical Journey

By Erin Ely

It’s been 15 years since I had my home birth, wow how time flies. Who would have guessed it would pass so fast. I have two children, Locke my son, who is 19 and Maggie, my home birthed daughter, who is now 15. In order to tell you about my home birth, I first need to give you the background on how I got there.

This is a tale of two births, dramatically different from each other.

I was a “career” woman. I have a Forestry degree and I worked on one of the largest national forests in the Pacific Northwest. While my main job was Forestry related, I also spent many summers fighting forest fires and was on a hotshot fire crew one summer. I was committed to the world of Forestry. I never imagined myself with kids. I did not like kids, really, I never baby sat as a kid and when I would go places, I generally would steer clear of kids. OK I didn’t hate them, I just did not connect to them. I was not a “kid” kind of person.

As a “career” woman, I did not ever imagine that I would have a child and leave my job but, that’s what happened after the birth of my first child, my son Locke. I worked right up to the minute with my first pregnancy with Locke. My water broke at work during the morning and then I had to go home and get ready to go the the hospital for my birth. I called my midwife and said I would stay home until I was in labor, but, it just never came. After holding off as long as possible, late afternoon, I finally went to the hospital. They tried several natural ways to get my labor started but it just was not working. I went through the night with no real signs of labor. Eventually I ended up on pitocin. It seemed like hours of pitocin-induced labor and the minute they took the pitocin away, my labor disappeared. It had been over 30 hours since my water broke, I was exhausted I could not do it anymore and they were ready to take the baby out. At the time, it seemed like there was no way around it, I was exhausted…so my first birth was in the hospital and a c-section.

One thing lead to another. For every action there is a reaction, I was sick from the anesthesia for the c-section so they gave me another drug to fix that, I can barely remember the whole experience I was so drowsy and out of it. After several hours of pitocin, the anesthesia, the drug to stop my nausea, this really affected my ability and the baby’s ability to nurse. After a week in the hospital, I went home with my son, using a nipple shield so he could latch on to nurse. Unbeknown to me, the use of the nipple shield slowly was decreasing my milk supply over time. This happens because your milk ducts do not get the same stimulation, as if you were nursing directly without the shield. Once I got home I could not get my son to latch on without the use of the nipple shield, I was exhausted and he was not getting enough to eat, but I did not know that. Finally after two weeks and a Doctor’s visit, we realized he was not gaining enough weight. The standard prescription was given, give him artificial baby milk and put the baby on a bottle.

I remember thinking to myself, this is just not going to happen, there was something in me that would not go along with that, for some reason I just could not do that.

I called my local La Leche League and went to a meeting. That was my first exposure to nursing toddlers. I was so freaked out by that, I thought I would never go back to another meeting. I eventually ended up meeting one on one with an amazing La Leche League leader who came to my house. Because I did not want to use bottle, she helped set me up with a Supplemental Nursing System (SNS). The SNS is a small bottle that you wear around your neck with two tubes. You put your pumped milk in the bottle and tape one tube to each nipple. The baby latches on to your breast and gets milk from the bottle while learning how to milk your breast at the same time. This also helps stimulate your milk supply. To make this work, I had to pump every two hours round the clock, which I did for several months.

My routine of pumping, setting up the SNS, cleaning it, etc took about an hour, then I would have to do it all over again soon after. While everyone around me was telling me to use the bottle and artificial baby milk, I just could not, it just did not feel right to me. My husband thought I was crazy, my friends thought I was crazy, but it was the way I had to do it. Finally after about 3 months of non-stop pumping and using the SNS, my son was gaining weight and was finally able to nurse on his own without the additional help of the SNS. I was like a zombie during those first three months but I made it to the other side. I was supposed to go back to work when my son was 3 months old, but after all this, there was no way I could leave him with someone else to take care of him. I took an extended leave of absence from my job and after two years, I ended up resigning to be home with my son.

It was my connection to La Leche League that sent me off onto a completely new path. I was so grateful for the help I got, I became very involved with La Leche League. This had to be one of the single biggest influences in my life as a parent, as many of the choices I made about parenting and choosing a homebirth came from my connection to La Leche League.

When my son Locke was 3, I got pregnant with “my Maggie”. I knew before I even got pregnant that I was not going to use a medical doctor for this birth. I found a lay midwife in my area. We are lucky to have several very good lay midwives in our community. I did not see a medical doctor once during my pregnancy. I would go to my midwife appointments and she would talk to me and check my vital signs but not once did she ever give me an internal exam. This was such a different experience. I met her at her home for my appointments. Also, by the way, I was 39 when I had my second child. I had no tests of any kind, no ultra sound, no medical procedures. My pregnancy was great, I never had any problems.

One evening, we were getting ready for dinner and, my water broke. I called my midwife to let her know…but I was not having any labor pains. It seems like the same situation I had before, when I had a c-section. At the time, we lived 15 miles out of town. My midwife and her assistant, came to my house. The evening progressed but my labor did not. I went through the night, off and on with some labor pains, but nothing significant. My midwife gave me some black cohash to help my labor but it just made me sick to my stomach and I threw up.

The night progressed, I slept off and on, but my labor did not. This is starting to sound familiar. During the day, we tired different things, my midwife suggested several positions I could use to help stimulate my labor. I was tired and the day passed, still with no significant progress on my labor and birth. It had been about 24 hours since my water broke and my midwife decided she would go home for a bit, while I was in a very slow, almost non existent state of labor. I was so scared of the pain, that I think mentally I was halting my own labor. Even after one birth this was still unknown territory. When I look back, I realize now, I was afraid and not mentally prepared to give birth “naturally”, so while intellectually, I wanted to do it, subconsciously it was not happening.

I realized that something had to happen, so now that my midwife had gone home for a break, about 30 minutes away from my house, I changed my position and my labor began to progress. I had to call my midwife and she had no sooner arrived home and then had to turn around and come back to my house. Finally, my labor was progressing, I was scared but it was going to happen.

By the time my midwife arrived, I was in a pretty good state of labor, things were progressing, finally I got to the point of pushing. I choose the bathroom, as it was easier to be supported by sitting in an upright position. OK, so I thought I would be able to do this right? The time had come, well, not exactly… my mind again, working against my body. I spent three hours pushing “my Maggie” out. It was sheer will of force that made this finally happen. I pushed Maggie out from a very high position in my cervix and ended up with a 4th degree tear, lots of blood loss and a bit of a woozy feeling, but I was awake, not drugged and Maggie was here.

My midwife was very quick to act, she put me on oxygen, had me laying down and they grabbed the baby and everything was fine. Although at the time, it all seemed normal to me, later I found out that my tear was pretty severe and there was some concern about my loss of blood and bleeding.

Because of my 4th degree tear, I had to go to the hospital to get stitched up. Once everything was taken care of, I was stabilized, the baby was taken care of, we were off to the hospital for the repair of my 4th degree tear. Well, you can only imagine the reception I got when we got to the hospital. I laugh when I think about it now. I know you can read all kinds of horror stories about bad problems after a 4th degree tear, but I never had any problems. I had it stitched up, I took care of myself, healed fine and now 15 years later I have never had a problem.

For me the homebirth was a magical experience. It is something I cannot explain how lucky I feel to have had.

Once we got home with Maggie, everything was so amazing. My breastfeeding went great, Maggie gained plenty of weight, right away. Everything went smoothly. It was like a fairy tale. My son Locke was also there at the birth and we all remember it like yesterday. Once we got home, we all laid in bed with Maggie, the four of us. I did not leave the house for at least two weeks, it was a peaceful time. We took the time to enjoy the experience all four of us together. I have to say it was really one of the most amazing things I have experienced in my life.

My life went in such a different direction following the birth of Locke, both my kids nursed until they were 4.2 years old, we attachment parented, homeschooled and no vaccinations for Maggie. After Locke was born, I became a La Leche League Leader and for 8 years I helped other moms with their breastfeeding. Mother to mother support, the way it works best…passed on from one mom who has experienced successful nursing to another who is just beginning.

Erin lives in Eugene, Oregon with her husband Doug and two children Locke (19) and Maggie (15). In 1992, she left her job of 12 years as a Forester on the Willamette National Forest to be a stay-at-home-mom. For the past 17 years she has been a homeschooler. organic and local food advocate, “professional” volunteer and community and political activist. In 2005 she started a home-based business selling Miessence certified organic products. She also works as an on-site staff member at the annual Bioneers conference. After 16 years of working for corporate America, her husband left his job in October 2008 and they opened Bielefeldt Financial, offering Socially Responsible and Traditional Financial Planning.

Have you ever considered a homebirth? What made you decide to go for one or to choose not to do one? Please share your story by leaving a comment.