And Every Day They Grow

I feel a little forlorn today. My baby (he’s 16 months old now) didn’t want to nurse today when I picked him up after work. He began clapping his hands at the sight of his brother and they shared a water bottle in the car, ate some chewy protein balls.

baby wearing a cape and sneakers

How does this baby keep growing bigger?

And then, when we got home and settled into our favorite chair for nursing, he just laughed at me and sprang from my lap. I even sort of chased him around the living room with my breast bared, hoping I could convince him to nurse a bit. After all, it’s been 8 hours. I’m a wee bit engorged!

This is hard for me emotionally. My youngest child doesn’t need me in quite the same way right now.

He’s off doing his own thing during the day, apart from his family. I’m so happy with our current childcare situation–another mom from my older son’s preschool takes care of my baby while I’m at work two days per week. Felix just loves hanging out with their family. When he sees their daughter, he puts his arm around her and kisses her. He claps his hands when I leave him there in the mornings, and that sure makes it easier for me to head off to work. (He claps his hands a lot)

While I’m gone, I love knowing he’s having fun in such a loving environment, but I still expected him to dive into my arms and sign for milk the second I picked him up. I wasn’t prepared for him to run home, join his brother at the train table, and just go about his business like a big kid. Later, when Felix does want to nurse, I sure am going to hold him extra close and savor these dwindling days of his babydom.

It seems I only really get one year out of a baby. Those newborn days felt so endless while I was in the thick of that first year, but now that the toddler stage is charging at me, I see.

I see how quickly it flies past.

My older son wakes up each morning and asks, “Is Felix a big kid yet?” and we usually say, “Every day, he’s a little bit bigger.”

Today, I wish I could pull my boys close and just freeze them in time for a little while. Instead, they remind me that every day they grow bigger and older.

Do you ever feel like your babies are growing up way too fast? Leave us a comment to share how you deal with them getting older!

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