With Determination And Perseverence, It Can Be Done!

By Theresa Velendzas

I had always known I would breastfeed and had no idea it could ever be difficult. Even when my OB mentioned that I should get a lactation consultant and be prepared for some difficulty, I brushed it off. During the hospitalization I got a lactation consultant just to go through the motions though my daughter was latching pretty well and with improvement, my pain subsided. But she cried a lot and would nurse practically constantly letting go only to cry. On her subsequent weight checks, we were told she was failing to thrive and advised to start supplementing. I had a lactation consultant come to my home for support and went out and bought bottles and a pump. Between pumping and feeding, I barely got to put a shirt on, or eat unless fed by my husband. It was about two months and I could still not make enough to feed my daughter, though in hindsight perhaps I eventually was – but just too traumatized by the whole ordeal. Nevertheless, she got about nine ounces a day in three doses to supplement, until at around nine months she spit out the bottle and never accepted it again. She continued on solids and breast milk happily until around 26 months when she weaned.

So now I was an expert, I thought. When my son was born I dreamed that I could exclusively breastfeed him and not worry about my daughter bringing home bugs from preschool. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not get him to latch properly. I tried re-latching over and over again at every feed to prevent bad habits. Yet he would not suck properly or get anything past the first milk. This left him frequently hungry and my easy going even tempered little boy, increasingly became fussy and inconsolable. Fearing a repeat of my daughters experience, I skipped ahead and supplemented him before being told to do so, while pumping frantically and nursing to bring my milk in.

I didn’t want him to suffer like my daughter had.

I felt inadequate as a mother and fought exhaustion and depression with determination (after ensuring that my breasts were healthy and had no reason to not produce sufficient amounts of milk). Within a few days, he began to refuse the breast completely. My world was coming to an end, as I knew it would be impossible to maintain my supply that way. I frantically started surfing sites and contacted the Canadian renowned expert in breast feeding, Dr. Jack Newman who promptly told me to get hands on help and fix my latch. I was prepared to drive 10 hours to see him but couldn’t figure out how I would pump while dragging along my three year old who was also going through her own adjustment period.

I called my old lactation consultant who referred me to someone else covering my area. Upon examination, she couldn’t quite put her finger on the problem and referred me to a pediatric chiropractor who specializes in breastfeeding problems whereupon we were told my son’s frenulum was probably short. This prevented him from getting a proper latch. The local hospital would not evaluate us for TWO months (!!!!) and the only pediatrician in the state who evaluated for and did the procedure in his office was out of the country for three weeks. We found another provider in a neighboring state and drove there to have his frenulum snipped. Providers that perform this procedure who are breastfeeding friendly generally get people in within a couple of days and we were lucky to find one only three hours away. With some added followup support from the chiropractor who treated my son to cranial facial massages and the pediatrician who encouraged breastfeeding exclusively we took the leap and did away with formula. Within two weeks, we were exclusively breastfeeding, after a harrowing 10 weeks, and continue strong even as we now introduce solids at six months.

The plan is to continue with him until he self weans like my daughter. It’s funny – I offer water in the bottle with his meals, and he seems confused by it, kind of chewing on it and smiling as the cool water pours down his chin. He happily goes to the breast for dessert. Thanks to my nursing tops and wraps I breastfeed everywhere, and have been complimented by many who say I make it look incredibly easy. I tell them it wasn’t always, that it took work, and apparently THAT is normal. The graceful looking easy part is the reward.

Alas my dream has come true as I know my babies have and are getting the very best I have to offer. I hope my story helps others persevere because it is totally worth it all around.

Formerly a patient care advocate for the elderly, Theresa is a stay-at-home mom from Glastonbury CT. She is an avid breast feeding supporter.

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