Did you ever think you’d talk so much about poop before having kids? I had no idea I’d care about poop, let alone text my husband regular updates about the bowel situation of my kids.
When my breastfed babies were newborns, we learned so much about poop: color, consistency, frequency.
We’d have dinner with other parents, casually discussing “mustard seeds” and “green froth” as if these were normal table conversations.
I’ve got 3 sons, aged 6, 3, and 1, and we are on poop watch for all 3 of them right now. Imagine that!? (I actually know that most of you can indeed imagine this. There are no fewer than 5 smart phone apps available for tracking bowel movements of the adult and pediatric variety!)
My oldest son tapped my shoulder the other day and nonchalantly explained that he’d swallowed a PlayMobil trophy. “I can feel it right here,” he said, pointing to his throat. His breathing wasn’t obscured and he could no longer feel it after he drank a bunch of water, so we’re pretty much just waiting to see if it comes out the other end. I’m not actually sure what our course of action is if this doesn’t happen. We have a follow up phone call scheduled with the pediatrician…
This kid, by the way, has had us on poop watch for years, including a hospital stay after he ate a button battery as a toddler. At least we know he has a robust digestive tract.
My preschooler is desperately constipated. This is because he only agrees to consume goldfish crackers and cheese. We frequently explain how much less painful everything would be if he just ate or drank some of the delicious fruits and vegetables we’ve sautéed, pureed, juiced, baked, and roasted for him. He will at least agree to drink chamomile tea infused with scoop after scoop of Mirilax. We have to be careful of the timing of this tea service, because of preschool. It’s a science!
The baby? He got into his big brother’s gum. We know that he swallowed both the gum and the wrappers, so we’re checking diapers to make sure the wrappers are coming out ok. So far, 2 have.
That’s been my week. When acquaintances ask, “What are you doing this week?” for small talk, I always wonder if I should be up front with them…
What sort of poo-nanigans go down at your house? Leave us a comment to share a diaper story!
Image by CatEyedKP via Flickr
